Smoked Out: My smoke-filled lungs and the death of a scone

Sometimes I’m a real dumb ass and get myself into the oddest situations. So, I’m working late to get the following week’s schedule done, but the computer locks up and I have to wait about 10-15 minutes for it to reboot. In the mood for a midnight snack, I remember I have a chocolate chip scone in the freezer from a few weeks back. So, I walk over to our coffee shop, put it on a styrofoam plate, and pop in the microwave for one minute. I open the door and it’s still hard, and kind of smells funny, but I thought maybe it was due to freezer burn, so I leave it in for another minute. I open the door again, and a cloud of smoke rolls out. So, immediately I shut the door, and try to blow and wave the smoke down in fear that it might set off a sensor and trigger our sprinkler system. I open the door again to see the damage, and more smoke rolls out, with no end in sight. So, I shut it, wave down the smoke, and contemplate my next move. I gotta get the smoke to stop, so I open it a third time, retrieve my demolished meal, which is charred and falling through a hole melted in the plate, and throw it in the sink. I then turn on the water to cool it off, and it pops and crackles under the stream. I get it to a handleable point, wrap it in a paper towel, and throw it in our outside dumpster. (Getting rid of the evidence, ya know. : ) ) The whole time I’m thinking, Boy, how stupid am I, and where did I go wrong? A frozen microwave meal or hot pocket takes like 2-3 minutes to cook, so why’d this go so bad?

So, now starts the clean-up process. I open up the drive-thru window, prop it open with a step stool, and hope the cold night air will help my situation. I then take the glass tray out of the microwave and wash it down. The place reeks of smoke, so I grab a canister of Lysol spray and douse the entire department, including the immediate area outside of it, the entry into the book dept. I then return to the office to finish my task.

After the schedule is complete, I write a note to the opening managers, which will be there in less than 5 hours, letting them know what happened, so they wouldn’t be alarmed if the burning smell still lingers. I tape the note to the entrance door, and take one more jaunt to the Café to ensure everything’s okay before I leave for the night. I spray the area again with Lysol, as my first attempt wasn’t a total success. I then open the microwave, and although no smoke is present, the stench still remains. So, I grab a rag and some dishwashing liquid and give it a good wipe down. So, my job seems complete, all but the embarrassment and ridicule I may get the next day. Damn scones!

So, it’s back to the office where I arm the store and head out the door. A nice breath of fresh air is what I needed, although my sniffer is fully dominated by the burnt styro/scone smell. I drive home, contemplate a shower, change into my jammies, blow my nose, give my hands and forearms a thorough washing, and go to bed.

I wake up late the next morning and my hands are still funk-induced. I hope a shower will make it go away, but if not, a good bleaching should do the trick.

So, stay tuned for more exciting and laughter-filled adventures (at my expense) of K-Fleet.

Horrorfest 2007

Okay, it's that time of year again for Horrorfest, aka mass horror movie consumption. This year, Heather and I will be attending the event in Wichita, KS at the 13th St Warren Theatre. It'll set me back about 130 bones, but I'm sure will be well worth it! I could have opted for the all access pass, but it was 75 bucks plus shipping, and non-refundable, so the cheap-ass I am, decided to pay for them individually, and save about $20. Besides, the goodie bag wasn't all that great either (sorry babe). Like last year, we'll pick out the best, tell you why they're great, and then anticipate the DVDs early next year. Here's to a hellofalotamoviewatchin!

Fri Night:

Unearthed-6pm

Deaths of Ian Stone-8pm

Borderland-10pm

Sat Night:

Tooth & Nail-4pm

Lake Dead-6pm

Mulberry St-8pm

Sun Night:

Nightmare Man-6pm

Crazy Eights-8pm

After 10pm, we'll grab some well-deserved ZZZZs in preparation for another week, then it's off to Springfield the next weekend for an early turkey dinner. :)