The Cavi rolled over 100K in Oklahoma and the TFW recap

Last weekend was a pretty good trip, and the ole Cavi hit a milestone while crossing Oklahoma on the way home. Lukas and I watched as she rolled over 100K, and like a true champ, kept puttin along as if nothing happened. I've had her since August 1998 and she's been pretty good to me, so cheers to my cayenne pepper red Cavalier, may you continue to service me with pride.

Okay, so you really want to hear about the horror convention, so here it goes in all it's dry glory.

I didn't take any pictures at the convention, because 1) I'm not a picture takin kind of guy, and 2) I was simply too lazy, and just decided to enjoy the experience. Quite a few big names were there such as George Romero, Tom Savini, Adriene Barbeau, Pinhead, Lloyd Kaufman, Clint Howard, and Jeffery Combs. The best panels by far were with Clint Howard (Ron Howard's brother) and the utterly animated Lloyd Kaufman (president of Troma films). These guys are straight entertainers and very down to earth. Lukas told me later that he and Lloyd pissed next to each other. That'll be one to tell his kids, "Hey, I once pissed next to the creator of the Toxic Avenger..." and they say, "Who? Let's go watch Nickelodeon." This is Lloyd.

Tom Savini, who I appreciate for his special FX skills, seems like a big asshole. TFW was honoring him with a lifetime achievement award and as an intro, played a 10-15 minute DVD compilation of his work, but someone got the wrong disc and Tom made it clear from the jump that it wasn't the right and they needed to "turn it off now!" Tom just has a visual arrogance about him, and definitely proved it in that instance. I don't know who the girl is, might very well be one of Tom's creations, but can't you see the "I'm an asshole" look too?

All the celebs were charging for their autographs ($10-20), or you could purchase pics from their movies and they'd sign it. Really, the only person signing for free was Lloyd Kaufman, but that was if you brought your own merchandise, otherwise it was 10 bucks. Needless to say, I didn't get any because it's figgin ridiculous to pay for them. Lukas did forge Romero's on the back of my program, just so I wouldn't leave empty-handed. Thanks, bro!

The biggest disappointment, although she's a great actress, was Angela Bettis. During the Femme Fatale panel, she couldn't answer a single question intellectually. What a joke! And, the lead actress from Cabin Fever, Cerina Vincent, truly seems high maintenance and ditsy. The most intellectual discussion was with Doug Bradley, the actor that plays Pinhead.

He's a pro at interviewing and carried himself well. I wonder if the fact that he's a Brit has anything to do with it?

Anyway, there were fans who got into character for the convention, like zombie Wolverine and Spiderman, a ghostbuster, and a few others who attempted to make it Halloween in June. I just wore my Cannibal Holocaust t-shirt with pride and knew that several of the younger crowd who attended had no clue what it was. Sad, straight sad. On Day 2, I paid homage to My Bloody Valentine. I hear a remake is in the works, hope they don't f-it up!

Surprisingly, I only dropped about $50 on merchandise. Most of the stuff they had was either way too expensive, bootlegs, or memorabilia that I simply have no room for, already own, or can get cheaper at my store. I thought there might be more freebies, maybe even a screener or two, but only posters, buttons, and crap I could care less about. Give me the movies!

The highlight of the convention was talking to Bill Zebub. Not that his movies are good (Rape is a Circle, Jesus Christ Serial Rapist, Crucified, Ass Monster, etc), but he's willing to say fu** it, and just film what he wants. Funny, I bought a couple of DVDs he was liquidating from Xploited Cinema, which he says was used for "exploitation research." But, I had to go back because one disc was missing (out of a 2-disc set), so he gave me a $5 refund. This dude is cool, but sadly, most of his movies aren't.

In a nutshell, we did a lot of sitting and listening, and in between, I swung back by vendor tables to see if I had missed anything or something new had been added. Oh yea, a couple of the Suicide Girls were there too peddling their new DVD and book.

We also saw a couple of movies from local talent, Domain of the Damned and Texas Road Kill. Domain will be a definite gorehound fave, since there's a lot of killing and blood, but no character development. Road Kill, on the other hand, is straight laughable and the audio was horrible, thus living up to it's name. So, that was pretty much the weekend, and now I'm no longer a horror convention virgin. I'd like to make it to a bigger one maybe later this year or next.

Speaking again of Tom Savini, I just saw a horrible movie called the Absence of Light with him, Tony Todd (Candyman), David Hess (House on the Edge of the Park, Last House on the Left), and Michael Berryman (Hills Have Eyes 1&2). I understand you gotta make your cheddah, but why put yourself in a position of such ridicule? Such a disappointment to see these once horror greats continuing to whore themselves on the C or D movie market. I guess David Hess has been chosen to be in the Driller Killer remake if it ever happens.

So, if you come across some obscure horror movie you think I've missed, drop me a line and send it quick! :) It was announced that a sequel to Nailgun Massacre is in the planning stages, bring back the cheese!